I Wish

Last night Ashley and I got in a big fight and we both ended up going to bed angry. Probably one of the worst things that you can do in a relationship. But as usual i was the one that started it. I can't figure out why i do this all the time. I think to a sense i feel like i am being cornered all the time so i want to retaliate to defend myself. It all started when Ashley asked me if i hate her. I can't stand it when she asks me shit like that. I just wish that i wasn't angry all the time. I don't even know what makes me angry. Sometimes i feel like we need to go to marriage counseling if we are going to make our marriage last. We have grown so far apart since i went to Korea. I feel like neither one of us are happy with where our relationship is. I wish that i could get her to have a little more drive to get things completed. If she would only put the effort that she puts into Guitar Hero as she does with everything she probably wouldn't be asking me if i think she is fat all the time, or maybe the house will actually stay clean, or even quit drinking regular soda and switch to diet for her diabetes. I me an every soda she drinks has over a hundred calories and when you go on a diet that allows you about 1400 calories that soda is going to be taking the place of your food. Especially when you have more than one. but if the soda is not replacing the food and you are still eating the same amount of food the the diet calls for then you are failing at the diet. I try to explain that to her but of course the soda it to important in her life. I just wish she wouldn't do it for herself and do it for our daughter. I want to live a healthy life so that i can live a long life for my daughter i just wish that she would do the same.